What road goes ever on and on, in reverend panoply? –
Of hummerhorns and battle-born shimmering the sky-shiv,
Blest be those, a paladin, the greener things that simmer
Patina, or perfects left to glimmer in the canopy,
Belabouring the sunlight, the bleak corrode of day,
The sweetest sour of lips to glide, a boast of bigger wind –
And in the ring, the rung, the wither beat and bear
Of falling wings comes bitter black, the two italic fray,
What unheard in nature, the buckle of a minion,
Overhead the hoverings, the smothering and thinner
Dives become but level dance, a most insipid thing –
But clogs of clouds, O bevelling! Their creation of a pinion,
And ring’d wroth upon goldén foe they winter,
Furbished with a glaring, a potted chomp on rudders tail,
Posthumous as the gilded-sting of goldenrod and burr,
Gashed in blueish audience, two bottle’d necks that linger.
© Eve Redwater 2012
[In this poem, I wanted to express my seeing of two crows fending off a buzzard. This happened to me in the local park the other day – the sun was shining, it was a special sight to see! The “goldén” has an accented “e”, which indicates a stressed emphasis when read out loud – I hope you enjoy!]
Redwater Ramblings 
Sky-shiv! Amazing combinations of words and images. Difficult for the brain-weary and deficient (i.e. me), but wonderful electric anyway. k.
Aw, thank you ever so much K! Not at all, I’m grateful you read this and enjoyed it, that makes me happy. 🙂
Really enjoyed this.
Thank you very much for reading! So glad you did. 🙂
Lovely! I particularly liked the line ‘The sweetest sour of lips to glide, a boast of bigger wind’
Thanks ever so much Laurel! It’s great to hear you like that line!
Loved it!
Thank you very much!
Eve, you speak a brilliant language! Your poems are always amazing! xo
Aww, Lauren thank you!! Always a pleasure to read yours, so I’m always grateful that you take the time to read mine. 🙂 x
I read this first thing today with Radio 3 in the background playing medieval style music (choral), and it wedded perfectly. This must have been some sight indeed, I love buzzards as well as crows (and blue skies) and I think you caught this sense beautifully in your unique style, the battle of birds. Love the word paladin (again medieval) and I’ve always thought of crows as medieval, like rooks and ravens. It is a shame (actually an outrage to be honest) that the government are now thinking of ‘culling’ buzzards because they are taking too many pheasants! Not long ago they were endangered. They are widespread now but that can’t be allowed, apparently. Great work Eve!
Wow, that sounds great! Thank you for reading it to a tune! Crows and the like are pretty medieval aren’t they? I think they’re pretty gothic too, they fit that styling pretty well. And it’s a shame about the buzzards; it’s like there’s never a happy medium to nature. I think it’s a shame that we chose to intervene, sometimes. I’m pretty sure a balance would achieve itself were matters left to itself. 🙂
Lovely, Eve! I so enjoy that you give us a little background on your inspiration. I always go back and read again after I read your thoughts. We have many crows and occasional hawks…no buzzards, although I’d love to see them. I have seen a crow and hawk fighting for territory and it’s fascinating. I could easily picture that while reading your fabulous piece. Debra
Birds fighting/fending off danger in whatever form is pretty amazing to see. I’ve not seen much bar the other day in the park. I suppose I’ve been wanting to embrace a little more classicism with my poetry – it’s Hopkins what done it! 😛 Thank you Debra! I’ll continue working hard! x
Lovely. There are things in nature that are truly magical, mystical and a wonder to see. You captured such a moment perfectly in this. It’s light, flighty and image filled.
Many thanks for saying that, really! 😀
really liked this
Thank you very much Ian! Lovely to see you here. 🙂
Fabulous.
Many thanks!
Eve, I love your style and that you use such strong imagery and word combinations to relay a story. It’s a definite feast of words. An enjoyable reading experience 🙂
Emma, thank you! I’m really grateful. 🙂
Fantastic imagery! Loved your choice of vocabulary here too. Can’t choose just one or two lines to like best; they’re equal in weight and lusciousness.
Hi Chris, thank you! I appreciate your thoughts!
the words feel good!
David in Maine USA
Hehe, thank you David!
This was a lovely piece of lyrical poetry and I thank you for embracing the time-honored tradition.
I really appreciate it Elliot! I really love the classical style, always have. It’s a lovely experience to try my hand at it sometimes. 🙂
Love your voice!!
Thank you so much! 😀 x
whimsical and poetically picture perfect (~_~)
It’s great to see you here! 😀 Thank you ever so much Art!
“the greener things that simmer” – a very fresh phrase.
Thank you Steven! Glad you like that line. 🙂
How could we not enjoy?? 🙂 Splendid as always!!
Hehe, thank you! Well, sometimes my pen is little “off”, so I worry! But I’m really happy you like it. 🙂 Thank you for reading, and I hope your book is going well!
I know you’re interested in traditional forms of poetry and asked on Twitter for feedback on same, which I have failed to give … soz. This poem is extraordinary on so many levels – it would be so interesting to learn about the format / structure and how you set about it – any chance? 🙂
Thank you Polly! No no, don’t worry about that, it was curiosity talking. 😛
As for the format… I guess I wanted something that had a bit of a rhyming scheme, so I went with this. I’m not sure if it’s an official scheme, but this is how it turned out! I wanted a double rhyme, but for it to be separated in-between. I’m not sure how well it translates onto the page, but I suppose that’s all part of experimentation! That’s more or less it! x
Ooh, thank you for the reply and apols for not getting back to you sooner … where are you Stacey? I’ve not seen anything from you since this post, which I loved … missing you …
Hello Polly! That’s Ok, thank you for replying – hope it helped, sorry I wasn’t very clear.
I’ve just come on this minute to post a brief “I’ll be back soon post”, and saw your message – sorry for the sudden leave of absence! I’m currently working my way to my final University exam, so I’ve not had enough time to write much creatively. I’ll rectify that when things are over!
Take care, I hope you are well, and I shall see you soon!
x
Ah! Mystery solved … glad you’re OK. Yes, your explanation did help thank you.
Is it your BA you’re completing or are you onto your Masters by now? Whichever it is, good luck, and I shall look forward to your return.
My BA – so very nearly done now! Thank you! 🙂 x
I would also like to hear a little about your process. I like the ‘paladin’, ‘Patina’ and ‘perfects’ stanza. Jane
I’m really grateful Jane, thank you!
I hope my explanation to Polly is a little helpful! 🙂
‘The sweetest sour of lips to glide’…this line I drank like Shiraz…loved it!
Oh wow, well thank you very much! 😀 x
your use of alliteration, rhythm and rhyme makes this poem feel like the flight of those two birds. i enjoyed its movement and its texture. your words are always so expressive and lively.
Anna, thank you! I always appreciate your feedback. 🙂
Your unique language has come up with some wonderful descriptive phrases, Eve…like…
‘Belabouring the sunlight, the bleak corrode of day’
‘ And in the ring, the rung, the wither beat and bear
Of falling wings comes bitter black, the two italic fray’
‘Dives become but level dance, a most insipid thing
…and so much more. I love the way your words create an atmosphere, a tone, as well as offering a visual and storyline!
Thank you for commenting Diane! I’m still a little unsure about this one, but it was fun to write! I really appreciate it! x
Our avian friends are not much different than our hominid ones…