We begin with the warming, the pip of a heart.
Day mould in the leaves,
rust in the flora scatters in shudders.
Stuck to a tree comes a bellow of cuu. A sparrow I drew
with the yew in my bow; sadly, sorry. Mouthlings are split.
A mermaid-purse for the insides-out:
the forgotten smell of worms.
© Eve Redwater 2012
[Short and sweet today everyone, my workload is not fun! This photograph was taken on a trip to the Peak District one afternoon; a lovely snowy day. Submitted for DVerse Open Link Night.]
Advertisements
Lovely! I liked this. Again, you always seem to (with apparent ease) paint some sort of image inside of my head. It really draws me into you writings and makes me long for more! Good, good job!
Thank you for saying that! I’m happy. 😀 x
I just know you are going to be famous, Eve!
Hugs ♥
Aww, Deb, I don’t know about that! (But thank you!) Hugs ♥ xx
love. love how you engage the senses in this…the smell, ahh….the use of word too mould and rust both used in more positive than negative ways…the music of the pip…and the drawn bow sparrow…i like much
Thank you Brian! I love the word “pip” for some reason. 🙂
short and robust. i especially enjoy the heart and breadth in your fourth and fifth lines. lovely.
Thank you very much Jane, as always! x
Love this.
Thank you Lilly!
Thank you. This poem smells like my childhood. In the damp mornings, always running on deer trails. Breathing deeply the dirt we kick up. Taking the back way to school.
How wonderful! I feel like I’m seeing the images you’ve seen in some way, thank you. 😀
Beautiful, Eve! What a wonderful collage of words.
Thank you very much Angela. 🙂 x
Beautiful photograph; you have many talents! Once again I marvel at the way you use description to create imagery.
Thank you! Still working on the photography side of things, it’s all good fun though! 🙂
The aim in your poem is as true as that hunter’s weapon: straight into the heart. The rust of leaves shaken, the muffled cry, and the sight of that unintended victim, split inside-out into a “mermaid-purse”, tearing the quietude into shreds.
Thank you Samuel. 🙂
I truly love what you do; the voice, the sculpting, the juxtapose compositions of sounds, alliteration and play of same studdered meters in ryhme. I am a true fan! You deliver a gifted quality that will continue to sweeten with time.
Thank you very, very much! So glad to have found you here in the blogging world. 😀
Such a warm reply. Just know, I have nothing to gain by complimenting you but the satisfaction of knowing I was true to the expression within my heart. I thoroughly enjoy the refreshing uniqueness displayed in your poems
.
Beautiful. It reminded me for som e reason of Christopher Robin and friends. I could almost smell the trees. Lovely, lovely write.
Thank you! That’s really great that you thought that, it conjures a lot of different images in my mind, too. 🙂
So much imagery…in really only a few words! Is that a stream (bottom center) in your excellent photo? It was good of you to share this, Eve…I’m glad you took time for your ‘busy-ness’ to do it!
Thank you! If I remember rightly, it’s a kind of gulley. It looks rather stream-like though, doesn’t it? I feel bad for my lacking posts this week, but the deadline is approaching fast! So many words to type, so little time! x
It does not matter, Eve, when you post…it is what you post, which is always so intriguing!
Love from here in Chicago!
A freshet of inventive and arresting Images and Sensations, S. And the mid-poem ripple of internal rhyme…sublime. 😉 ~ j
Thank you for this lovely comment Joe!
“A sparrow I drew with the yew in my bow; sadly, sorry. Mouthlings are split.” There are so many potentials wrapped in these words! Moving! Debra
Thank you Debra, your comments always make me smile! 🙂
Brilliant! I love the enjambment rhyme: “A sparrow I drew / with the yew in my bow.” Thanks for sharing 🙂
Many thanks! 😀
Eve, your work has an indescribable quality to it that really draws me in. It’s got an atmosphere that transcends the words which is something I really enjoy when I find it in poetry. Lovely imagery, as ever, and I particularly like how you end on such an abrupt note…a hanging echo, as it were.
Thank you very much Emma! Love the thought about an echo, it’s great! I very much enjoy reading your poetry, too – glad to have found you. 😀 x
Wonderful imagery and language, as you have that special knack, Eve~ 🙂
I always appreciate your thoughts, Lauren. 😀 x
In just a few lines, you’ve painted a very evocative scene.
Thank you Chris. I’m grateful you think so. 😀
Hi,
You write beautiful poetry and I love the photos you include. I love this poem. You tell so much in so few lines.
I’ve been meaning to come visit you for some time but I’m always racing to catch up and never seem to get there… The joys of being a blogger.
Hello Rosie! Thank you ever so much for taking the time to visit my blog again, and for leaving me this lovely comment. 🙂 I completely understand about catching up with everyone, since this morning my inbox has filled with over 100 emails from blogs I need to visit – it’s a never ending cycle, though I can’t complain because I love reading everyone… I can never seem to keep up!
Thank you again for taking the time to visit me,
Eve x
Your economy of words works brilliantly to convey a scene and a scent, and the line “A sparrow I drew with the yew in my bow” is exquisite.
Hello Mark, thank you very much for visiting my blog! I’m happy that you like that line, too. 🙂 I hope to see you again, you’re more than welcome!
Eve
Imagery to touch every sense and emotion…and something drawing me back to read again and again…You ‘use’ of words is always so unique and lyrical!
Thank you Diane! Looking forward to writing something a bit longer when I’m done with all my work! x
Just noticed the Van Gogh quote below..it’s splendid! Thanks for sharing!
Oh, glad you found it! It’s one of my favourites. 😀